Peer Coaching Made My Teen Feel Understood—and Inspired

By Laura Kim (Not her real name), Parent of a High School Junior

As a parent, one of my biggest challenges has always been understanding how best to support my teenager through the college application process. My daughter, Siti (not her real name), is a brilliant, driven high school junior with big dreams. But like many teens, she often found herself struggling with the pressure of grades, extracurriculars, and the looming question of "What’s next?"

We are a Korean-American family, and while we emphasize hard work and academic achievement, it was always clear to me that Siti’s path wasn’t going to look the same as mine. Her interests were different, and she needed someone who truly understood her unique struggles and aspirations—someone who could guide her in a way that felt personal and meaningful. That’s when we found peer coaching, and it completely changed the way Siti saw herself and her potential.

The Search for Guidance

In the midst of all the application prep, I noticed Siti was becoming overwhelmed. She often felt isolated, as if no one truly understood the pressure she was facing. She would tell me, “Mom, you don’t get it. You were just focused on school and getting into college. But it’s different now. I don’t know where I fit in.”

At first, I struggled with how to help her articulate her feelings. As much as I wanted to be there for her, I wasn’t sure how to guide her in this new world of college applications, where everything seemed to depend on an essay or a test score. That’s when I came across a peer coaching program, which paired students with mentors—other high schoolers who had recently gone through the application process themselves. The idea of having a peer who had walked in her shoes immediately appealed to me, and I encouraged Siti to give it a try.

The Impact of Peer Coaching

Siti was hesitant at first. Like many teenagers, she didn’t want to feel like she was asking for help. But when she connected with Leila (not her real name), a senior who had successfully navigated the college application process, things started to click. Leila, who is of Moroccan and French descent, had a story that resonated with Siti in ways I couldn’t have predicted. Both girls came from immigrant families and faced the added challenge of balancing cultural expectations with their own ambitions. Leila had been a first-generation college applicant herself, and her experiences gave her insights that my daughter could deeply relate to.

Their coaching sessions became a safe space for Siti to open up. Leila not only helped Siti brainstorm ideas for her college essays but also talked her through the emotional rollercoaster of managing expectations, feeling unsure of her choices, and worrying about future rejection. The beauty of peer coaching is that it’s not just about practical advice; it’s about emotional support. Siti no longer felt alone in the process. Leila shared her own struggles and triumphs, and that gave Siti a sense of hope that she could do it, too.

One of the most powerful moments came when Leila helped Siti see that her passion for community service wasn’t just a filler activity—it was the heart of her application. Leila helped Siti realize that her volunteer work at a local refugee center could be framed not only as an extracurricular but as a defining experience that reflected her character and future aspirations. This was a turning point for Siti, as she began to feel more confident in what she had to offer, beyond her grades and test scores.

More Than Just College Prep

As a parent, it was incredible to watch Siti grow not just in her college prep journey, but in her self-awareness. Peer coaching gave her the opportunity to talk openly with someone who understood the emotional and mental toll of the process. Leila didn’t just offer advice—she listened and provided validation, which is something my daughter couldn’t always find at home or in school. Siti began to develop her own voice, and her confidence soared as she realized that her story was unique, valuable, and worth telling.

At the same time, I could see the positive impact peer coaching had on Leila, too. By helping Siti, Leila was able to reflect on her own experiences and solidify her own understanding of what college meant to her. Peer coaching wasn’t just a one-way mentorship; it was an exchange of ideas and experiences that enriched both sides.

Why Peer Coaching Works

What stood out to me about peer coaching is that it taps into something that’s often missing in traditional academic guidance: relatability. Coaches who have just gone through the same challenges are able to provide practical advice while also offering emotional support. They are closer to the age and mindset of the students they’re helping, making it easier for them to connect on a personal level.

Peer coaches also help students gain a broader perspective. Siti came to understand that while her journey was unique, she wasn’t the only one struggling with uncertainty, imposter syndrome, or fear of failure. Leila reminded her that many of these feelings are normal, and that it’s okay not to have everything figured out. For Siti, this was invaluable.

A Newfound Confidence

By the time Siti completed her college applications, she felt more than ready. She had written her essays with a newfound sense of purpose, guided by Leila’s insights and support. Siti wasn’t just submitting a set of applications; she was presenting her authentic self. More importantly, she was no longer afraid to dream big.

When we received the news that Siti had been accepted to her top-choice school, I couldn’t help but think back to those coaching sessions. Peer coaching hadn’t just helped Siti navigate the application process; it had given her the tools to believe in her own potential and own her story.

If you have a teenager in the college application process, I can’t recommend peer coaching enough. It’s a process that’s about much more than essays and deadlines. It’s about understanding, support, and inspiration from someone who truly gets it. For Siti, it was the difference between feeling overwhelmed and feeling empowered.