I Didn’t Know the Rules, But My Peer Coach Knew the Game
By Aditi R. (not her real name), International Student from India
Before I even began applying to colleges in the United States, I knew I was already behind. Not academically—I had top grades, extracurriculars, and awards—but behind in understanding how the system actually worked. In India, we take entrance exams for specific fields and institutions. You study, take a test, and that score determines your admission. The U.S. system, with its essays, recommendations, financial aid forms, and holistic review, felt like an entirely different game—with rules no one around me could explain.
I didn’t have older siblings or family members who had gone through the U.S. application process. My school counselor was well-meaning, but she had dozens of students and limited time. So I did what many students do: I started Googling. I found college admissions YouTube videos, blogs, and forums, but they often gave contradictory advice. Should I apply Early Decision? How many extracurriculars were enough? Should I submit SAT scores or not? I didn’t even know what questions I was supposed to ask.
Then I found Pathways, a peer coaching program, and I was matched with Maya (not her real name), a college student from India who had been through the U.S. admissions process two years earlier. She became my coach—and my translator for the unwritten rules of the game.
Maya didn’t just know how the U.S. admissions system worked—she knew why it worked that way. When I asked her why colleges cared so much about essays, she explained that in a system without standardized national entrance exams, essays help admissions officers understand who you are beyond your grades. When I worried about whether being a “generalist” instead of a “specialist” would hurt my chances, she helped me frame my broad interests—debate, science Olympiads, community work—into a coherent narrative.
Most importantly, Maya taught me strategy. She showed me how to build a college list that balanced reach, match, and safety schools while still aligning with my academic and personal goals. She explained that some colleges are more generous with financial aid for international students than others, and that applying Early Decision could be risky if you needed aid. She even gave me a spreadsheet template to track deadlines, supplemental essay requirements, and scholarship opportunities.
One of the most confusing aspects for me was recommendation letters. In India, it’s not common for teachers to write detailed, personalized letters. Maya helped me approach the right teachers early and even coached me on how to give them information about my achievements and goals to help them write stronger letters. Her advice was both practical and empathetic—she had been through the same awkward conversations and reassured me that it was okay to advocate for myself.
When I struggled with my Common App personal statement, Maya didn’t tell me what to write—she asked the right questions to help me uncover a story that felt real and meaningful. I wrote about growing up in a multilingual household, how navigating three languages shaped the way I think and communicate. Without her encouragement, I might have written a generic essay about academics or volunteer work. Instead, I wrote something personal, something that sounded like me.
Even with all this help, I had moments of doubt—especially when friends around me received admissions decisions earlier, or got offers from universities I hadn’t even considered. Maya reminded me that the U.S. system values fit over rank. Just because a school is ranked lower globally doesn’t mean it’s a poor choice for your goals. Her calm, informed perspective helped me stay focused on my path rather than constantly comparing myself to others.
Eventually, I was admitted to multiple U.S. colleges, including two with generous scholarships. But what I gained went beyond admissions letters. Through peer coaching, I learned to see myself the way admissions officers might see me: not just as a number or a resume, but as a whole person with a story, potential, and agency.
The U.S. college application process may seem chaotic from the outside—but there is a system underneath it, a structure of priorities and signals. I didn’t know those rules when I started. But Maya did. And because she did, she helped me play the game on equal footing.
Now, I’m planning to become a peer coach myself. Not because I want to give advice, but because I know how powerful it is to feel seen, heard, and guided—by someone who’s been there before.